


The Anderson Home For Wayward Androids

by hobovampyre



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Echo and Ripple! I love them, Hank Anderson/Simon - Freeform, Josh/John, Josh/Simon, Kind of a poly family, Kinda?, Multi, No beta we die like people who die sometimes, i like poly warm families, lotsa love bruh, slowly evolving plot?, what does it all mean?, will update tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-09-16 13:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16955187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobovampyre/pseuds/hobovampyre
Summary: Hank was a family of one.Until he wasn't....he was going to need a bigger house.





	1. First there was One

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so I have a lot of downtime at work and someone mentioned something about Hank and adopting androids and just that's cute so here are little stories of how Hank's family just keeps on growing because I love fluffy families
> 
> I write during the day so updates will be sporadic but thanks for reading!

It started out with one android. Just one. But don’t they all start out with just one?

It was late at night and Hank was pulling an all-nighter to finish up the metric shit ton of paperwork the android revolution had hog-tied the department in. It didn’t help that the office collectively decided to dump the bulk of it onto him just because he happened to be there when all the shit was going down and he _technically_ was a part of the team that was supposed to prevent the entire shebang.  Whatever. They were just a bunch of lazy bastards when it came down to it.

 It was rolling onto the wee a.m. and he’d been reading the same few passages in his report since the start of the hour, indicating that he definitely needed more coffee if he was going to survive this hell night. He had been shuffling over into the breakroom, eyes lidded and brain barely functional when an amorphous block emerged from the shadows and nearly tripped him face first onto the floor. He had startled and jumped back, blinking, peering down at the cool blue ring that burned a gentle glow against the dark breakroom walls, the only cool blue ring he really knew.

“Connor?”

The ring blinked as if an eye was opening and Connor looked up. He had taken his jacket off and rolled his sleeves up so that Hank could see the gentle outline of artificial veins in his arms in the soft blue glow of his LED. It was obvious that he had been sleeping here in the breakroom with the way his arms were folded in against his chest and that alone was all Hank needed to make a sudden decision right then and there. That did seem to be his MO, sudden and possibly incredibly stupid decisions. The last one helped lead a revolution, after all.

“Yup. Come on, then.” Paperwork be damned; he was dog tired and he really couldn’t be bothered to look up another dozen android models so this was as good an excuse and any to shelf it for tomorrow.

That little blue ring sang yellow for the briefest moment before Connor only nodded, standing gracefully, swinging his jacket up over his shoulders. “Okay.”

 

 ----

 

The car ride was pleasant at first. Hank figured Connor would ask questions, maybe try and insist this wasn’t necessary, but no. Connor was quiet, his face gently turned towards the car window gazing out into the wintery landscape. The only indication of his thoughts were the steady blip of yellow at his temple and Hank felt the need to explain himself suddenly, fidgeting against his seatbelt, trying to get comfortable.

“Look, no Detective should be sleeping in the damn break room.”

Silence.

“I mean, you’re paid now, just like the rest of us. Why don’t you get an apartment?”

More silence.

“You’re not a machine anymore, Connor, you of all people know that. An apartment, hell, they have android pets, you’re your own man, now!”

“Hank.”

“Yeah?” Finally, a response.

“I’m scared.”

Silence.

“I know.”

 

 ---

 

“So, yeah, mi casa es su casa.” Hands in his pockets, Hank meandered around his modest living room, kicking at a few boxes and cans that rolled underneath his couch to add to the kipple already populating his living room. “Uhh, I have a second...bedroom here…um, well, I’ll clear the bed off first and, well, ignore the toys? I’ll…get rid of those...later, and—Connor?” Hank stopped mid-ramble, arms full of trash and clothes when he saw the android’s shoulders shivering. “Are you cold?”

A shake of the head. “No.”

Hank set everything back down on the couch and moved to step carefully closer, hands hovering in uncertainty around those slim shaking shoulders. “Con?”

And then there was a body in his arms, a vice grip around his waist and he sighed, arms coming down to complete the circuit. “It’s okay, Connor. I got ya. It’s okay.”

They slept together than night. And the night after. And the next and before Hank knew it, it was the most normal thing in the entire world. Connor came home with him, they changed, they made dinner, they watched television, and they slept. He wasn’t sure when it became such a routine nor could he pinpoint the exact moment he realized what Connor meant to him, but that’s how it became, that’s how it was.

It was only supposed to be Connor.

He didn't even know Connor had friends.

 


	2. And Suddenly, Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such small chapters! I hope its not too annoying. I write at work and post as I go, so for now, each chapter is a new family member

 

To his credit, Connor was just as surprised as Hank was when the doorbell rang one night just past nine thirty. The two shared glances, the two grabbed their firearms and positioned themselves accordingly so Hank could open the door with Connor’s line of sight clear.

It opened easily and both men were struck as they stared headlong into the heterochromatic eyes of the Revolutionary leader himself.

“Hello, you two.” Markus said with a smile that bore absolutely no shame and Hank decided then than there that that smile would come back to haunt him.

“Uh, hi?” There was another look thrown at Connor but the android just shrugged, his own pistol long set on the end table, hands resting in the large pocket of Hank’s oversized hoodie.

Markus either didn’t see this exchange or did nothing to acknowledge it, stepping aside so that he could reveal the reason for his visit. Behind him was a young man with blonde hair, soft blue eyes and a pained expression stood with his arms behind his back, eyes looking down and away.

Somewhere behind him, Hank could hear Connor’s LED cycling yellow, Markus’ eyes staring gently at Hank’s even though he knew he wasn’t the one being spoken to and that growing feeling of dread only stretched down to his toes, only blinking when Connor moved beside him.

“I understand. We will take care of him.”

“Wait, we’ll what now?” The human hardly had a chance to object when Simon shuffled politely into the room, bowing his head in gratitude before a soft hand caught his arm. Hank stood aghast as Markus took Simon’s face in his careful and pressed their foreheads together, the LED at Simon’s temple cycling softly as skin peeled back to white.

“Just for now, my love. Just until it’s safe for us, okay?”

A soft sound, a sigh? A whimper? But Simon was nodding, “okay.” And then the moment was gone. They parted, they waved, and Markus left.

“…..” Well, at least he had a second bedroom.

 

\------

 

Simon was a fantastic roommate, holy shit. Connor was tidy, sure, but Simon was literally built for this. He never stopped working, all day, all night, he cleaned, he swept, he washed, and he dried. In the mornings he went to market, at night he made dinner. And all of this, he did because he wanted to; or so he told Hank every time Hank insisted he didn’t need to.

“It helps.” Simon always spoke softly though Hank had to respect the surety in his voice, soft but firm. “It helps knowing I’m doing something while I’m here, safe. While he’s out there, not safe.”

He had a point, and who was Hank to argue? So he let Simon carry on and if he himself started to clean up a bit more after himself, well that was just fine by him. Just fine by Connor, too, with how handsy he had started to get.

____

So, Simon loved sports? Hank never would have pegged the little guy for being the competitive type but apparently his owners used to be heavy, heavy sports fans and their enthusiasm bled over into him during his formative years. It started in during one of Hank and Connor’s routine nights, they sat together on the couch and somehow along the way Hank found the other android snuggled into his other side and together they yelled and cursed at cheered until the Wings came away with a barely won 2-1 victory. They made a night of it from then on for the rest of the season’s eighty or so games and Hank found then that, yeah, maybe this is okay, too. It was nice, like a family. A weird little family but it was warm. It was good.

And Simon reallllly knew how to kiss.

That was a plus.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted two from the get go so you can see how small they are. I think I'll post them like this and then start making bigger stories once all the players have shown up 
> 
> who would you like to see?  
> Message me on tumblr or twitter @hobovampire. :>


	3. Why Not Add a Third?

Simon and Connor were absolute blanket hogs.

It took Simon a little longer than Connor to sneak into Hank’s bed but the way Connor must have described it had the caretaker android asking through covered hands if he could sleep with them one evening.

And the following.

And the next.

He was going to need a bigger bed if he wanted to keep this up.

Thankfully, Connor was the type of android that enjoyed lying nearly on top of Hank while Simon was the kind that preferred to press firmly into his side, giving him at least some semblance of a normal sleep position. Not so thankfully was that both androids weighed a nearly combined weight of two small self-driving smart cars and Hank could feel the Connor-shaped bruise that was imprinting itself on his chest and the eerily strong Simon-sized palm prints on his hip.

“Alright, move. I gotta piss.” His voice was hoarse and grumbling, but his bones were tired and satisfied as Simon rolled over then curled right back into Connor who just spider wrapped his long, talented limbs around the smaller android. It was cute, but damn, he really had to pee.

His bare feet pattered along his floor on his way from the toilet, Sumo whining softly as he passed having long since been ejected from his old spot at the foot of Hank’s bed. They tried that once, the three of them and Sumo and while the androids loved it, Hank woke up nearly suffocated at least four times before it was decided that sumo did just fine in his little bed in the living room.

He borked at Hank a few times, tail swishing. It was different kind of sound and maybe Hank should have given heed because mere moments later there was a fervent little knock on his door and Hank stood still, eyes peering at the offending front door. “What in the..?” Sumo stood to the noise, lumbering near Hank as his owner reached for the pistol he kept in a drawer beneath his television. From the hallway, he could see the cool blue of two LEDs before he heard the soft voices of “Hank?” whispering from the darkness.

“Shhh.” A quick glance to the clock showed it read three a.m. and Hank amused the fleeting thought of how long it would take to payoff one of those complicated camera systems because this was getting a little ridiculous, these night visitors.

There was another set of knocks and he could hear Connor ready his own pistol. It was eerie, the déjà vu Hank was feeling not in just what he was doing but in the feeling that was rolling his the pit of his stomach. It was the same feeling he had the first time he had a night visit.

Opening the door, he didn’t bother hiding his gun this time when there was a soft gasp from behind him, a rush of wind, and then a laugh.

“Josh!”

Great.

 

 ----

 

“Tell Markus I’m not a fuckin’ hotel.” Dawn was slowly spilling from the kitchen curtains as Simon brought Hank a cup of coffee, moving to sit on the couch beside his friend with the biggest smile Hank had ever seen. It was cute; he could see what Markus was talking about when Simon smiled and it was endearing to see how Simon fussed over his friend, his touches light but meaningful.

“Sorry.” Josh was sincere, large eyes and Hank wondered if most android had eyes like that, glancing at Connor who lied peacefully in his lap staring up at him with his own beautifully doleful eyes. He nudged at his cheek playfully, feeling the android grin into his hand and he snorted, pointedly ignoring him.

Josh was smiling sadly, playing with the frayed hem of his jacket sleeve, shrugging as he rocked back against the equally frayed couch cushions. “It’s…hard to explain. Something is happening.” All eyes were on him and Hank felt that feeling fall back into his gut, this time a little colder. “Markus is out there somewhere. Last time I saw him was a few days ago but only really to have him tell me where you live. I don’t know much else, though, just that those of us who were directly tied to the revolution are hiding from someone. Or something.” He tilted his chin to Simon who had stilled imperceptibly, face serene and eyes in obvious pain. “It’s why he left you here.” Hank saw the way his temple spun, his, Connor’s, Simon’s, the LEDs turning; he was being left out again and wow, that was starting to piss him off. “It’s why I’m here.”  

There was a passing moment of silence before Simon was the first to stand, his expression weary but resolved. “Well, it is what it is. Come on, Josh, I’ll introduce you to Sumo.”

“Ah, one moment. Markus gave me a message for you.” Simon stopped and looked at Josh eagerly, eyes wide and excited—Hank really ought to try and get him to smile more-- when the taller android swept forward and planted the softest kiss against Simon’s gently parted lips. The human in the room balked, the android in his lap squirmed, and Sumo just whuffed as the kiss suddenly deepened, Simon sighing and melting into Josh, that white on white thing happening again.

“Uh.” Hank was stuck. Connor was still squirming in his lap, his own brown eyes bright and dark all at once while they gazed up at him and Hank was very stuck. “Uhhhhh…”

“Shhhhh…” Connor murmured and he reached up for him, sticking Hank even further.

Sumo lumbered back down and waited; he would be introduced eventually and he would nap until then.

 

Sumo loved Josh more than he loved Hank sometimes. Hank had no proof, but the way that dog followed him and slept near him and was almost literally attached to his hip (he clipped his leash to his jean belt loops), Hank was pretty sure he had been replaced. All things dog related were relegated to the newest family member and Hank was beginning to realize he was going to have to start up a new hobby soon for lack of anything meaningful to do.

\-----

Josh was good at finances. Apparently he had been an economics lecturer in his old life and he loved numbers and budgets and everything Hank, personally, hated himself. They were sitting at the table, Josh’s feet buried into Sumo’s chubby plush side beneath chair, when the android pushes a sizeable stack of cash towards the human.

“Uh, and this is?” Hank stared at the properly faced bills separated by denomination in only what could only be android-like precision and that itchy feeling scratched at his insides. Josh only hummed, smiling at Hank with his hands clasped in front of him. His LED was cycling yellow but he didn’t seem confused about anything.

“It’s recompense for putting us up. Houseguests aren’t cheap.”

“….you guys don’t cost anything? You don’t eat, you don’t bathe, so…?”

Josh wiggled his fingers to show the white of his plastisteel skin on his palm, shrugging back. “We eat electricity and some of it is to go for thirium. I noticed you don’t have much of it.”

Beside him, leaning against the fridge, Simon nodded in agreement. Connor, the traitor, also nodded apologetically.

It’s because he didn’t need so much before now and none of those bastards said anything about it but Hank kept his mouth shut, looking down at the money with a hard gaze. “Don’t want it. You keep it, all of you. Make it your allowance or something, buy new clothes or whatever.” Josh’s LED went red for the briefest moment and he, Simon, and Connor shared a look.

“Thank you, Hank. I’ll split it four ways.”

“I said—“

“I know. Pretend it’s for Sumo.” And for emphasis, Josh leaned down and gave the good boy a good ole belly rub and Hank sighed. “Now.” Josh had his hands back on the table.”…about your budget, Hank.” And the sigh became as groan as he leaned forward, forehead on the table. There was a gentle hand on his back and damn, he really needed to find a new hobby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone you wanna see?  
> Weehh thanks for stickin around
> 
> Find me on twitter or tumblr @hobovampire


	4. Time Four a Trip!

It should have stopped being a surprise after Josh. Every few days, his doorbell would ring and someone else new would show up on his doorstep. Every few days, they would come in, mention something cryptic about where Markus was, what he was doing and then they would kiss Simon in a way that made Connor drag Hank into the bedroom for an indeterminate amount of time. That last bit was okay; what followed was not and Hank was slowly starting to realize this was his life now.

The very next visitor after Josh came was someone Hank really didn’t know but the other androids seemed to and these days, that was good enough for Hank. It was a male (could these be feamles?) GJ500 and he introduced himself as John in a soft and modest whisper. The kiss this time was chaste and Simon smiled gently, guiding John over to the second bedroom that had become somewhat of a charging station for all of Hank’s, well, charges.

John was different compared to the others. He was stiffer and a little more awkward, often standing in the corner or sitting stiffly in a chair and days went by where he wouldn’t utter a single word to anyone.

“He was security, before the revolution.” Simon was sitting in Connor’s lap as the basketball game droned on in the living room; the prototype’s palm was rubbing gentle circles into his stomach. “His model wasn’t programmed with social algorithms so he gets very shy and nervous around crowds.” Hank could have guessed that much with the old security hat John held onto but the old uniform had been replaced by very sensible and pleasant looking clothes; a solid long sleeve shirt and dark, clean jeans and they lent nothing to anything else he was before he was free. He looked smart but that didn’t matter much when the poor guy was stuck in a corner, staring at his hands.

Hank figured he oughta help him out. “So, John.” The corner droid’s chin snapped up and he almost looked like a lost puppy eager to be tossed a ball. “What do you like?” The LED whirred and spun and slowly the eyes drifted back down, thumbs twiddling together nervously. He shrugged his shoulders and Hank shook his head, not accepting that. “No, there’s gotta be something. All of us have something we like, so what do you like?” John picked at his thumbnail, his feet lifting and falling onto the rug with a soft pitter patter when he at last he spoke, a small squeak of a voice.

“I like puzzles.”

Well there was something! Slapping his legs, Hank hoisted himself up off the couch and grinned as the two androids that had been using Hank as support toppled over in a mess of limbs and whines. “All right, kiddos! Don your hats and glasses cuz it’s time for a field trip!” Connor was the first to right himself, crawling from beneath Simon to nearly slide against Hank, expression confused but somewhat excited due to Hank’s infectious energy.

“Outside?”

“Mmhmm, you guys have been cooped up in here for weeks, so it’s time we get on out and see the city a bit. We can get our new friend John here some puzzles to do,” John had also stood, his expression excited, his hands pressed against his belly. “, we can go to the market for Simon,” The PL600’s expression brightened, nodding eagerly having not gone shopping with a family in so long. “,and for Josh, a bookstore? Yeah,” “Yes!” “, and then for Connor, well…think of somewhere you’d like to go.” The detective droid just smiled and laced their fingers together, his head tilting to his shoulder.

“With you anywhere is just fine, Hank.”

Ah. “Ah, well, ahem, that’s good then. Come on, let’s go!”

 

\----

John ended up having to borrow clothes from Simon, Connor being too tall and Josh doubly so. With a new jacket and the largest scarf Hank had ever seen, John smiled pleasantly, a pair of mittens on his hands to complete the ultimate look of comfort.

Hank led the pack along the strip and they all looked in wonder and awe, still unable to believe how freely—well, more free than before—they could walk down the street and not be harassed. The snow was fresh here and footprints, not androids, had made a little clearing for the Christmas shoppers to walk along. There were a few androids that still did street work, but they smiled more and none of them bared any android markings, simply the same city issued uniforms all the humans wore as well.

John was a greeter. Every person, every android they passed, he would go over and address, greet and then move on. It made the going slow but Hank felt like it was something the android just had to do and Connor seemed to agree, leaning in a few times when John nearly sprinted across the street to accost a few androids there only to come back, beaming and self-assured.

“Since he was security, he’s cataloguing all the civilians here and remembering them just in case. He probably sees us as something to protect.”

Hank gruffed and guessed that was right. He hardly knew him and honestly, maybe he should just talk to John for once instead of letting the others talk for him.

“It’s a good thing.” And Hank had to hum at that, looking over at the droid on his arm who had taken to wearing Hank’s largest and tackiest Christmas sweater to ‘get in the spirit’. “Mhm, now you don’t have to buy those cameras you wanted to. John here is just as good and you don’t have to pay him for it.” His smile was bright and Hank’s cheeks burned but he had to agree, finally waving at John to follow when the group arrived at the large corner department store.

Once they were all inside, Hank gathered together his crew and nodded to Josh who took several envelopes out of his jacket pocket. “All right, in here is everything you have to spend. It’s about $500 dollars for everyone—“Hank choked on some spit but Josh held his hand up not to be interrupted. “—and there’s more depending on what you need. Hank, you get one, too, but I’m giving it to Connor to make sure use at least some of it, as is only fair.” Connor graciously took his and Hank’s money and Hank felt very much like an admonished child, arms crossed and everything. “Simon, here is yours and John. Now, John, would you like to come with me to help you get some clothes?” Smiling gently, John nodded and Josh reached out to hold his hand. Hank squinted, swearing there was a blush in there, but he didn’t have much time to dwell as Connor had already started to tug him away with the hustling group.

\----

They stayed together in the end, just something about wandering through each section feeling all the better when they were all there to share it. They ravaged the clothes with Simon getting his favorite sweaters, Josh and his zip up jackets, Connor’s ties and suit coats and John with athletic shirts that Hank had to agree looked great on him. After the clothes, they all found the furniture section and Hank decided it would be nice to sit on one of the display sofas as Connor, Simon and Josh did whatever the hell they were doing off on the floor. John sat beside him, small and closed in as he usual did, but he seemed happier, face buried in his scarf.

“You good there buddy?” Hank reached over to pat his knee, feeling a little paternal over this one. He reminded him of Connor back in those early days of his deviancy; especially in the way John just didn’t seem to know what to do or how to hold himself.

“I…am glad. Thank you. For taking me in. I was very lost. And afraid. Markus found me and said to find you. Thank you.” The words were stilted, his tone clipped and odd, but the smile was very genuine and Hank sighed, giving the man a half grin in return, patting him again. “Markus said you were a good man. He was right in that assessment.” Hank wiggled a bit under the praise and waved it off emphatically, shaking his head as John only nodded with greater fervor. “A good man with a mean face but a big heart.”

“Pft. that what he said? Well, shit, Markus thanks.”

John didn’t seem to catch the sarcasm and only smiled again when the boys came back, all grins and weird giggles. Hank scrunched up his nose but Simon was too quick for him, subverting any query into their weirdly happy attitude with the announcement that the book store was on the next level and that the group was ready to carry on. John popped up quickly and Connor helped Hank up out of the very soft, very nice couch, slipping a hand around his waist to carry him close while they wandered up to the escalator.

The androids all seemed to vibrate with excitement on the ride up and again Connor leaned to whisper into his ear when Hank gave him a look of, what’s the deal? “Androids weren’t allowed on escalators Hank.”

Oh.

Well now he felt stupid and his cheeks flushed, Connor only chuckling and kissing him soundly. Hank just kept the gaggle rolling until they were let loose on semi-traditional bookstore. The store was modestly sized in this section, most of it lined with tablets and kiosks where the bulk of books were bought these days. Simon and Connor went to one of these, their palms placed upon the scanners as they cycled through the selections. Hank followed these two as Josh and John went over to the more traditional bookstore side to presumably find John a puzzle and himself a book or ten.

Hank ended up buy a few tomes himself with the promise that Connor would read to him and when they met up with John, the kid had two bags full of puzzle books and jigsaws and did Hank see a coloring book in there? Josh had an arm on his back and his expression was a little dazed, Simon and Connor smirking knowingly while Hank just blinked slowly. Was everyone hooking up around here? There was beat of him staring at the way Josh and John and even Simon held hands when there was sharp pinch to his backside, shoving him out of reverie and into the offending pincher. Connor just gave him a look and took his hand just the same, leading them on.

\---

Simon’s enthusiasm was incredibly infectious and everyone was practically willing to bend over backwards to help him shop for food. There were two carts in place, a smaller more compact cart for Hank’s human food and then a regular-sized trolley for all of the Android paraphernalia they were haphazardly tossing into the bin. Hank himself slipped in a few things into his cart but Simon held his secure enough that he couldn’t just toss anything into it. He had to fight for the right to have beer but in doing so conceded to eating more greens that Simon promised to cook into something remotely edible.

In the opposite cart, Hank had to give it to the grocers on how clever they had all gotten with the Thirium related foods and drinks there were. Pastries, sodas, wines and even beers; they were all blue and were comprised of other ‘android-essential’ ingredients but it was neat to see there was actually variety now.

“Do you guys even have taste buds?” Hank was picking through the cart and there was an exorbitant amount of Thirium cookies, Connor leaning over the basket as he pushed it along. “In a way.” Simon was dropping things into Hank’s little cart and he hoped to god there was at least one steak in there. “We can measure the chemical components in something and a few android chefs have configured them in a way that when we analyze the code, it sparks something akin to ambrosia in the human brain.”

“Err..”

“Yes, we can taste in an abstract way. And yes, it’s worth buying ten packs of cookies.”

“Right.”

 

\---

 

It was far past sundown by the time they finally arrived home. Hank’s arms were full of paper bags along side Simon’s and Connor’s. Josh and John had the rest of the bags, all in all making for a great day spent. Connor was the first to get to the door, the only android to have a personal key at the moment, but he stood there for a moment too long until Hank finally tossed a bag in the other arm to see what the deal was.

“Con?”

“There was a break in.”

It was textbook then. Hank set his groceries down and drew his gun, Connor behind him and John taking the rear. Josh and Simon stayed in the middle as the squishiest of the crew. Slowly the door pushed open, the lock long since broken and Hank threw his weapon up, carefully sneaking through intot he dark living room.

There was a shuffle and then the lamp switched on shining down on a woman who sat legs crossed on the couch, her expression dark and sour.

“North?” Simon pushed through the crowed and Hank just opened his hands in surrender. Not again, not today.

This could be dealt with in the morning.

 


	5. Five For Fighting

“Your place is a sty, Hank.”

Simon gave a soft gasp, his face alight in offense as he looked around the room, immediately scurrying to pick up and dust some seemingly present filth. He was mumbling something like, ‘I cleaned it just last night, it is not a sty, it’s very nice in here…’ and Hank just sighed, patting him on the back before he faced his newest visitor with a tired look. He should have been angry, hell, maybe at least a little miffed, but considering she’d be his, what, fifth arrival, he couldn’t feel anything beyond figuring out how she was going to fit in their weird ass little family. She looked tough; maybe home repair? Hank always thought about renovating the kitchen on occasion.

“So, Markus sent you, too, right?”

She scrunched her nose and bit her lip softly, finding something extraordinarily fascinating with the knee high boot that shaped her calf. Hank got it and moved past her, slipping into the kitchen to get something to help him through the rest of the night. There was a noticeable collection of hums and disapproving whines and he gave in to the urge to stick his middle finger up into the next room, the hums increasing into miffed grunts. When he came back with the beer having had to shove aside nearly half a fridge full of thirium, they all just glared at it and he really didn’t want to deal with them and their problem with his drinking. Thankfully, North didn’t either; small mercies he guessed.

“He’s off on some damn escapade and he wouldn’t tell me what he was doing. I do know it’s all over the country however.” Simon had finally stopped his tizzied cleaning and had come to a stop near her elbow, his hands fidgeting with a duster, wringing the handle in his hands. North softened when she saw him and Hank noticed the stiffness between them, an awkward sort of handling before Simon slowly began to open his arms to her. She stared at the gesture and then swallowed, slowly returning the hug before placing the most chaste kiss Hank had ever seen on his lips, their skin flashing white as Simon just blinked, looking at her slowly, thoughtfully. He retreated to the opposite side of the room where Connor put an arm around his shoulder, their LEDs blinking red.

North’s cheeks were tinged a soft blue herself and she let go quickly to let him go, crossing her arms before Josh swooped in to make up the slack, nearly cracking her back with his enthusiasm, picking her up easily. She flushed even more but was noticeably more relaxed as she just sighed and hugged him tightly, toes tangling against the floor before she was set down. John was next, shuffling up to her and bowing politely and this time, there was grin tugging her pouting lips and she pulled him in for his own hug. The security droid downright preened before he shuffled his way back to Josh, ears blue, taking the taller android’s hand to hold.

That left Hank; Connor barely knew her so he stayed back and watched.

They stood like that for a moment, her gaze hard and unending while his own was softer than he’d usually give, thoughtful, assessing. “So.” Her chin tilted up the slightest, her body squaring itself for some attack, Hank realized. That was depressing, that she felt she had to fight so much but he understood and couldn’t fault her. “Do you prefer the bed, the couch, or to stand?” Her long eyelashes fluttered as she processed what he said and she looked at the other androids in a look of disbelief, who shrugged, Josh with his hands up to tell her to be calm.

“Why?” Her shoulders had begun to lift, to guard and Hank held up his hand, the other splaying fingers so he could still hold his bottle.

“Nothin’ like that. Just to sleep.”

“We don’t sleep.”

“Oookay, for stasis then.” Hank waited for another remark, continuing on when there was none. “It’s not a big house, but until Markus does whatever the hell he’s doing, I take it you’re staying with us. We all have a place to sl—for stasis. So, bed, couch, or standing?” It was evident she didn’t know how to handle any of this, her body closed off and taut but, again, he got it. Simon and Josh spoke of her often enough that he knew what she did (and maybe he’d seen her model around once or twice). “No one touches anyone without their consent here.”

“But we do like to cuddle.” Hank threw a flat look at Connor who just smiled and gave a thumbs up, Simon nodding in concession beside him, Josh just grinning beyond that and John who just twiddled his thumbs bashfully. North looked much like Hank did and they shared a look, and it felt like maybe they would get along, a little bond forming between them just then.

“I’ll take the couch.” To emphasize, she sat down, hands still in her jacket pockets and Hank just nodded respectfully not acknowledging the way she adjusted the pillows or snuggled into the worn cushions. “Sounds good to me. So, what do you like to eat? Ah—Simon makes android food, so.” North threw a look at Simon that began rough but visibly softened with obvious effort as she just looked down, shoulders lifting in effected nonchalance. It was evident she was very uncomfortable, but she was loyal, Hank guessed. She seemed the fiercely loyal type, so she was here with them now and Hank would do his best to make her feel welcome.

“Well, Simon, I want a steak. Make whatever else you want and, uh, I’ll do dishes after, I guess.” He tried not to look at North as he said it, but she was playing with the end of her ponytail not looking at anyone else. “Right. Uh, wanna see if the game’s on?” Simon’s expression popped and he nodded, turning the television on himself as his LED cycled quickly. “Yes, yes, Patriots should be playing the Broncos and I’ve got the Broncos in my bracket to win this one.”

North gave a snort and Simon looked over to see her shaking her head. “Of course the Broncos would win, Patriots are probably going to fire their coach after this season; it’s been abysmal. What’s interesting should be the Texan and Titans game, those two have been on fire this year.” There was a pause and then Simon just broke into the biggest grin and Hank chuckled as the blond android launched into every stat-backed opinion he’s had this football season and North sat up to respond rapid fire piece for piece.

“Well, I’ll be…” Hank muttered, hands snaking around his waist as a lovely hum blew into his ear. He leaned back against Connor as the room visibly relaxed and everyone started to go to their respective daily habits. Simon and North shouting from kitchen to couch, John cross-legged at the coffee table with one of his many puzzles as John read a book, leaning against his side, Sumo on his lap. It was downright cozy in here with all of this weird familial shit that was going on and he could feel Connor’s smile in the crux of his neck, his arms exploring a bit until Hank had to carefully stop him above the belt.

Connor only laughed and planted a firm kiss against his neck and then went off to go see if Simon needed any help, bowing politely to North or gave an awkward but attempting nod back. Yeah, this was good, Hank thought. Nice. Warm.

It was a pleasant going with Connor snugged in his lap and he almost dozed a few times when there was a gentle hush that settled among the household like a blanket. Hank yawned and peeked open an eye only to see every android in the house facing the television, their expressions hard, pensive. It was such a disjointed atmosphere; it felt oppressive and strained, Hank almost fighting to break it when the television roared to life and shut him up completely.

_Here we are at the scene of a massive explosion just outside a Cyberlife manufacturing plant that occurred just a few hours ago. Just a few short months ago, plants such as these had begun conversion into Android Creation facilities as dictated by the still fledgling Android Rights Laws. The Stern Five manufacturing plant was no exception, slated to be fully converted by the end of this next year, however, it seems this is yet another facility that has been destroyed under mysterious and dangerous circumstances. This makes the third android production facility in the past month that has seen a catastrophic end; is this deliberate? Is there a targeted attack against these facilities and which one will be ne—_

Hank flipped the TV over to a cartoon network and the sound of fake laughter filtered throughout the room. They were all quiet, the androids, staring at hands or at their shoes, at the ceiling or at nothing, their LEDs swirling in perfect sync. Hank squirmed a little and even then he could feel the gentle shiver in Connor’s body where he rested against him. The whole room was wired and Hank couldn’t stand it any longer, not when it was so good mere minutes before.

“Let’s go out for ice-cream.”

The tension snapped from the air and shattered like ice, everyone blinking, broken from whatever reverie that held them. John was the first to speak; standing as he gently dusted himself off. “I would like that.” He didn’t smile, but there was eagerness in his eyes that helped everyone else along, even North who stood carefully beside Simon, their bodies just a bit less awkward around each other.

Good.

“Good.” Hank said, grabbing Sumo’s leash. “No unhappiness here in the Anderson Estate, nosiree. Nope. Only good times and fun times.” He ushered them all together, Sumo to Josh, North and Simon huddling up as John stood beside Connor, Connor beside Hank. It was like rounding up a group of children and Hank pointedly ignored the warmth that spread in his chest when they all looked at him expectantly, like he was their guardian.

Which…in a way, he supposed he was. At least now he was, thanks to Markus and whatever the hell he was doing. Warm hands filled both of his palms and he saw Connor on one side, John on the other. Josh then took John’s and Simon took Connor’s and at least, North reluctantly took Simon’s until they made a line. “Right.” Totally fine, not weird at all. He was their guardian after all.

“Off we go. Sumo, lead the way!”

\---

North settled in far faster than any of the androids would have given her credit for and Hank felt both proud and ashamed. She was different than the boys but not in the way he expected. Honestly, she was a breath of fresh air and reason and by god, was she strong. Hank had mentioned, in passing, that he was looking to maybe renovate the kitchen and when Simon nearly sprinted into the room with an expression of pure delight, North just nodded and broke out a pen and paper, writing down all Simon told her he would love as well as whatever budget Hank wanted.

“Nothin’ crazy…” He could see the way Simon had begun writing down a list of demands but North just nodded to Hank knowingly, waving her hand in a ‘don’t worry’ fashion. They carried on like this, Josh tossing in his two cents only to be shot down by the resident caretaker who didn’t believe in an espresso machine as much as the teacher did. Connor had slithered his way back against Hank; the kid really never let him go these days, and John had begun his own project of securing the house, updating locks and windows and latches and all else to make sure no one else broke into the house. It was so alive, the noise so pleasant; soft bickering, laughing, jabs and snorts. John would often ask Hank about something then go right back to his business and Connor would reach up to scratch his beard as he regaled a story from the work week prior. It was so strange, all of this. Just sitting here as it all whirled around him, laughter, joy.

Hank had to ruin it all by wondering when it would end. Markus had sent them here ‘in the meantime’, whenever the meantime would end, Hank didn’t know. And a part of him didn’t want to know so he shoved all that aside to sit up and get in on all of this.

“I want an espresso machine.”

Josh whooped and Simon just groaned tossing his head back against the couch. “But Haaank, where will it go?” North shoved him over and he felt unceremoniously against Hank and subsequently against Connor who octopus clung onto his face. Settling into the tiny space she opened up, North just shoved plans at them both and damn, those were CAD ready and Hank squinted at something else on the page, something else that involved the whole house and what looked like the scratched out word ‘tinsel’.

“I’ll make it work.” She simply said, whipping it away from his eyes and he grunted. He had no doubt she would.

And, boy, she did, espresso machine and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I can't end these things well.  
> Hope you're enjoying!
> 
> If ya'll want, I can write the dirty in between bits sometime.  
> Lots of love with these kiddos, any pairing of em if you like


	6. Murr Crimmas Henk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It Crimmas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll this is the worst format of tiny chapters but I write at WORK so just bookmark and come back xD Im sorry orz

Christmas had come to the Anderson household. Hank was tired, cranky and had just spent the last three days on the most uneventful stakeout in his life. Connor, the bastard, was as pretty as always despite being the one who stayed awake for the entire 72 hours without so much as a nap. Hank, on the other hand, had fumbled into his house, flopped onto the bed and promptly passed out for what Hank hoped would be at least fifty years, maybe more if the good Lord deigned to give him more than he deserved.

That dead tiredness was why he never heard a thing, never budged an inch during what had to be an entire construction’s site worth of noise. Had to be. “What in the hell.”

The entire house from carpet to ceiling had suddenly and inexplicably imploded into the gaudiest most tooth-rotting holiday section of Hobby Lobby he had ever seen and not a single square inch of the house was left bereft of holiday cheer. There was ribbon wrapped garland lining the crown of the ceiling that extended the entire outline of the house, tinsel dripping from it while other accoutrements dotted the walls from pictures of snowmen and santas to several reindeer positioned in the corner imitating the natural wonders of Christmas wildlife. As he pattered by the shelves, he blinked dumbly at the Menorahs and little wooden dreidels that sat snuggly on their shelves. In other places there was a Kinara or two and while Hank kind of knew what they were, they were nothing compared to the full stop, full blown floor to ceiling Christmas tree that had sprouted up in his living room.

Beside it, Josh was hoisting Connor up by his waist as he placed a pretty blue star carefully on the tree’s tip, the effort made doubly precarious by the sudden enthusiast wave Josh gave Hank, leaving Connor to only be held by a single strong arm. It was dubious, Hank watching with his body tensed just in case he had to catch one of them, but Connor got the job done, hopping down to clasp his hands together proudly.

The entire display was brilliant and Hank had to sit on the couch to take it all in, just narrowly missing North’s hair where it was splayed over the couch.

“Watch it...” She muttered but carefully moved her hair, looking up at Hank then…patted his leg lightly. That was weird and Hank moved over to avoid that again when his eye caught the sheen of a new floor in the kitchen and he stared dumbly at the kitchen that was _not_ his kitchen anymore.

Simon emerged --a little snowman apron tied about his thin waist—with a mug of hot coffee that was promptly handed to Hank who gave it a precursory sniff, noting that it had chocolate and marshmallows in it, a downright proper mocha. Thanks espresso machine. “Uhhhhhh...” Shit like this kept happening and every time it blindsided him something fierce, this domesticity that came with having an ever growing family. Simon carried on but Connor had taken it upon himself to bounce off of Josh to glide over to the couch, his solid frame covered by a large, soft reindeer-lined sweater that liked toruck up to show his pale belly. Plopping beside Hank, he leaned into the large man and all but purred, smiling up at him.

“Surprise!” Large brown eyes, excited and eager waited and Hank just blinked, letting out a light ‘hooorraayy’ as Josh clapped in front of the tree. North grinned, a fleck of plaster or something in her hair, something Hank would never address and John just smiled, his little elven hat’s bell tingling with the motion.

“Aahhh, the Tanenbaum!” Josh was in a smart deep green sweater himself, dark grey dress pants and candy cane socks. “Die apfel und walnüsse! Ja, wonderschön!” There were apples on the tree hung by their stems and strings of something all along it as well as several bulbs from various things hung in perfect point precision everywhere. Hank couldn’t remember the last time he had a tree. Hank couldn’t remember the last time he celebrated Christmas.

“…what day is it?” All of the androids looked at Hank and then each other, Josh folding his arms behind his back to bounce on his toes.

“It’s Christmas Eve, Hank.”

“Oh.” He’d completely forgotten. Totally and utterly slipped his mind and he frowned before North waved her hand at him, reclined as she was against the couch as she sat on the floor. “Don’t worry about it, Hank. The boys decorated while you and Connor were gone all weekend and I did the kitchen.” Hank had to wonder how much this all cost him when Josh piped up, reading his mind. “We used our allowances; Markus has been dropping money for us. North came with a ton of it so this is our Christmas gift to you! Eeer, or maybe one of the gifts of Hanukkah..”

Simon rolled his eyes, cleaning his hands with his apron. “We couldn’t decide what holiday to celebrate so we just did them all.”

Ah, so that explained the other decorations. Beside him, Connor also patted the couch and grinned and that was when Hank realized that instead of sitting on a ratty old two seater couch, he was sitting on a larger, far cleaner, far prettier sectional and it was brand spankin’ new. “What in the…”

“Merry Christmas!” John smiled.

“Your old couch was awful.” That was Simon who shook his head sadly.

“Fucking the worst.”

“Thank you, North. But yeah, it was terrible, Hank, and, well, you’ve given us a home these past weeks and, well, we just wanted to say thank you.”

Wow, Hank was not going to cry. Nope, no he was not. He gave them all a little smile, eyes bright and maybe just a little wet. “I didn’t get you guys anything.”

They all just looked at each other then, a tiny ripple of confusion as Josh just laughed. “You gave us a home, Hank.”

And they all just smiled as Connor started the hug. Josh joined in next, then John. Simon from behind and there was even a little squeeze on his leg.

“Yeah. Guess I did.”

And, okay, maybe he was going to cry. A lot.


	7. Two for One Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weird slowly evolving plot, yeah press x to doubt

Hank thinks their names were Echo and Ripple but honestly, he could have made that up. In fact, he’s pretty sure he made that up.

Two Traci model androids had appeared on his front porch on a particularly cold January morning. There was fresh snowfall, the world blanketed in a sterile calm, the automated taxis moving slowly so as not to cryoplane into the neighboring houses.

Hank had been up rather early that morning at the behest of Simon who had wanted to teach him how to properly make pancakes. North was somewhere in the bathroom presumably working on another DIY project, when John appeared at the threshold between the living room and the kitchen, smiling pleasantly, eagerly at Hank until the human finally noticed him long enough tot urn around.

“Remember what we talked about, John.”

The security droid blinked, his smile wincing a bit in confusion before realization dawned. “Use my words.” The grin returned in full force, his face brighter without the shadow of his hat hiding his eyes.

“That’s right, use your words.”

Hank had wiped his hands clean and ambled over to see what John needed, his gray hair falling from the loose ponytail he had tossed it into. Behind him, Simon smiled as he flipped a few apple rosemary pancakes onto the adjacent plate, leaning back to eavesdrop.

“I wanted to inform you that there are currently two WR400 androids waiting on your front step. They seem to be hesitant to announce their arrival but I have been following their proximity once they passed the perimeter cameras and made the intent to visit the house known.”

Hank’s hand flew up and John stopped, looking all the part of pleased at his succinct report, but Hank was stuck on the camera bit. “You set up perimeter cameras? Since when?” John bounced on the balls of his feet, chin held high, hands clasped behind his back.

“Only just this week, sir.”

Hank rubbed his jaw, jostling it to and fro before humming, a soft grunt that signified he would deal with this later. He strode up to the door and opened it just as one of the androids was talking furiously with the other, the one speaking adorning bright blue hair.

“Can I help you?”

Both of them jumped simultaneously, but only Blue managed to recover into a heavy glower towards Hank. The Brown-haired Traci was earnest, eyes wide and hands fiddling with her fingerless gloves. Both were dressed head to toe in heavy winter regalia; gloves, parkas, hats, scarves, the works. It seemed a little overkill given they couldn’t feel the cold but who was Hank to decide what they wanted to wear? Certainly not him.

The three stood like this for a beat, feet awkwardly shuffling, icy wind rustling icy hair. Hank shivered and felt his body react to the cold, frowning, stepping back to sweep his hand back.

“Well, get in here.”

“What?” The first word from either of them and it came from Blue, her expression guarded while Brown just pulled them both inside. Both women stopped just short of the doorway, dancing out of the way as Hank cut through to get his coat hanger from the hallway, setting in back in place from where Simon had set it aside for cleaning.

“All right, jackets off, stamp your boots and have a seat. I’ll get you some warm..uh, thirium.” The ladies shuffled in place and it was obviously there was some conversation passing between them, but just through their private channel but in the way they looked at each other and slid their fingers together softly. Hank blinked as realization dawned.

“Holy shit, it’s…holy fuck, it’s you two.”

“There it is.” Blue wasn’t smiling, but she seemed amused if a bit dour, squeezing Brown’s fingers tightly. “I’m Echo, this is Ripple. We…yeah,w ell you remember.”

Hank was floored, jaw on the floor as he whipped around to find his partner. “Connor! Connor!”

Both women froze as Connor emerged from the bathroom in an apron and work gloves, looking a but put out that he was being called until his annoyance switched immediately to astonishment.

“Oh, you two!”

There was a fast flurry of movement, Blue, Echo, stepping in front of Brown, Ripple, to bare her teeth towards Connor, the tension in the air sharpening to a point. Connor, bless him, completely ignored this reaction and smiled, his sweet, disarming interrogators smile.

“It’s good to see you both alive and well. I hope it has been well for you. Make yourself at home.” Connor nodded to them cordially and Echo dropped her hands though she kept them balled into fists.

“He sent us to live with the deviant hunter.” Echo’s voice was low but it was malice-ridden, her teeth pressing sharply into her lip. Ripple was softer, calmer and she ran her palms along her shoulders, murmuring softly to her, kissing her cheek.

“He sent us to live with a friend.”

Hank was beyond used to this now and he nodded in agreement just as North emerged from her hole in the backroom. All three women gasped, and there was a blur of arms and legs and all around movement as all three woman crashed into each other into the biggest group hug Hank had ever seen three people manage.

“Echo! Ripple!”

“North, north!”

The androids kissed each other’s cheeks and held on for dear life, a few moments passing while the other family members present politely looked away to give them space.

“Did Markus send you? How is he?” North was eagerly, her hair falling in wisps to frame her face, LED bright and yellow against the strawberry blonde. Echo was pressed to her chest and Ripple was behind her, both with their eyes closed as white broke out where their skins touched. North gasps, wet eyes blinking away before she pulled away enough to give Echo a hard look.

“I understand.”

That brought Hank back into the conversation; that sullen and definitive acknowledgement. He watched her hug the other two once more before releasing them, motioning for them to follow her down the hall to where the carpet gave way to plywood where it had been ripped up for renovations.

“Hey, wait. What do you understand?” Hank hobbled after them, just as Josh finally poked his head out of the second bedroom, brought to life from the commotion in the common room. He didn’t peek long, North nodding to him as they passed a silent word between them as she led the group to the newly built addition to Hank’s home.

After having successfully changed the kitchen around, North had taken to completely overhauling Hank’s house, as if—and Hank was just now realizing this—she knew they would need the extra room. She had built two extra rooms, a bathroom and somehow was managed to build a whole extra level before Hank finally had to reign her in a bit, absolutely mortified when he watched her stripping his roof away one night. She only switched gears and settled on installing the plumbing before getting back to the roof when Hank had gone to work.

The bedrooms weren’t overly large but they at least held a bed, a nightstand and a closet; perfect for the android patrons Hank assumed they were built for. There was only one livable room at the moment, its wall unpainted but floor had newly finished hardwood with enough room for the bed that would have to be brought in. Ripple, Hank already wasn’t sure if he remembered correctly, was ecstatic, looking around with a soft ‘Oh, Echo!’ (Hank did get it right, sweet). Both girls kissed North on either cheek and the latter Traci left them to their devices, leaving them and closing the door behind her.

“Hey, I wanted to talk—“

“No, we need to talk more.” Hank twisted his face but followed the android knowing full well he wouldn’t win in an argument with her, walking back to the living room where North had begun to pace along the carpet. Her expression was pensive, dark, but Hank let her gather herself before she spun on her heel and pointed at John.

“You.”

John sat up straight, nodding. Hank waited for further instructions but after a beat of silence, he realized they were talking via LED or whatever they did; Bluetooth maybe.

“Hey.” He called but both androids were completely engrossed in their conversation. It was then Hank saw that Josh and Simon had wandered out and were tapped into whatever North was saying. Like a haze,the atmosphere because electric and eerie, Hank sitting on the couch as four androids stood completely still, eyes open but looking at nothing. It was downright Hithcock in the way he could hear a pin drop in the silence and thickness of the air.

“Hank?”

“Eep!” Connor had somehow snuck beside him, soft arms winding around his hips and like that, the spell was broken. The four androids had broken contact and dispersed; Josh to the bedroom, Simon to the kitchen, North back down the hall and John somewhere outside.

“What the fuck…” Hank looked at Connor but was met with a shake of his head, those soft arms sliding up to place a gentle finger on his lips. A kiss, and then a hug, leaving Hank doubly confused because they were hiding something. Connor only hummed and nuzzled into his shoulder and Hank couldn’t bring himself to push him off so he wrapped his own large arms around the android just as the TV blinked on.

“Hmph.” The Traci’s stayed in their room the rest of the evening and gradually the house fell into the comfortable lull it was known for. Hank couldn’t shake his suspicion but he knew when it was best to press a target for information and when to ride it out and wait; this moment being the latter.

Whatever it was, it was about Markus and Hank had a terrible feeling things were going to begin to change, for better or for worse, they would have to wait and see.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at Hobovampire on twitter and tumblr. :>


End file.
